Gateway to the West

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Gateway Arch, St. Louis, MO

The confined space, creaking, and the fact that it looked like it hadn’t been touched since the 70’s terrified me. I despised elevators, and being trapped in this tiny shit box did not help my anxiety. I was buggin’ a little, having flashbacks from when I got stuck in the high school elevator. Needless to say, I was not enjoying going 650 ft up in the air in this elevator to the top of St. Louis’ Gateway Arch.

The guy riding up with us did not exactly soothe my uneasiness. Earlier, we found out he was a fellow New Englander, and he admiringly called us Massachusetts. It was funny at first, but then what started as a “quick-buddy,” turned into a creepy old man, who wouldn’t leave us alone. You could say he gave us a bit of a lure-kids-back-to-his-car-with-candy vibe. I thought, “Wow, we have shit luck. Now, we’re about to be on the news as the two kids who we’re murdered at the famous Gateway Arch. The two idiots who epically failed at their road trip.” What a lovely thought.

Well, the doors opened just in time. We scurried away from that guy real quick. Now we

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View of Busch Stadium from atop the Gateway Arch

could relax a little. The view from the top was unreal, on one side the Mississippi river roared through the city, and on the other the lights from Busch Stadium, home of the St. Louis Cardinals baseball team, glistened in the evening light.

After gazing out of the windows for a while, we were pretty damn hanrgy [(han-gre) adjective 1. When you’re so hungry that you become angry, frustrated or both.] Time to head to our first Man vs. Food stop on the list, the Crown Candy Kitchen.

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Mouthwatering Milkshakes

Established in 1913, it appeared unchanged, with traditions, such as the one featured on Man vs. Food. The competitor, Adam Richman, was challenged to consume 5, 24oz. malted milkshakes in 30 minutes. We were of course going to get a milkshake, but prior to that, we had our eyes set on something else. We had done our research beforehand, and knew exactly what we wanted. The waitress took our order, and before long, she was back. That day, we sunk our teeth into the most perfectly crafted BLT ever created by man. The near pound of crisply cooked bacon just melted in your mouth, it was even giving Tom Cail (our friend Johnny’s dad, the master of bacon) a run for his money.

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Crown Candy Kitchen’s Behemoth BLT

In the words of Adam Richman, that behemoth of a sandwich was my bitch today. Well, Brad might have helped, but I tried! And, after, we managed to choke down the tastiest milkshakes I’ve ever laid my eyes on: chocolate, banana, malted shakes. Amazing. I’d say it could be the single best milkshake I’ve ever had in my entire life, and I worked at an ice cream shop.

Well, that’s about it, we scooted after the shakes. Thanks for the good times St. Louis, now onto Denver.

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